The Migration of Egyptian Geese

Egyptian geese are criminals, they steal from the pump and ultimately from your wallet. Nobody has ever suspected them because everyone is too busy reading the newspaper trying to find the answers there, well I’m sorry but you’ve been fooled since day one.

Egyptian geese have been using petrol since unleaded hit the market in 1996. They were never able to run on high octave leaded because their digestive system rejected the lead and many died horrible deaths in the late 1980’s. The spokesperson for the Egyptian Geese family in the Western Cape failed to release the news at the time due to certain language barriers.

The annual migration from Cape Town to Egypt used to take them two to three months on their regular diet of seeds and grass; it now takes them two weeks on 95 unleaded. They target certain petrol stations in the middle of the night using sophisticated flying sequences that simultaneously distract the petrol attendant and siphon petrol out of the pumps.

Now a rational argument against such a statement could be the mere size of an Egyptian goose: I mean, how can they be responsible for oil shortages and massive petrol price increases? Their bodies are tiny in comparison to your 50 litre tank. When they fill up for their migration they can only hold 1, 24 litres per goose on average.

Their secret lies in the shear number of them. We all believe the latest survey by National Geographic which states that the Egyptian goose population is 567 000 and counting when in actual fact the official record has been kept a secret from us. The number of geese populating this earth right now is over 98 billion and is expected to reach the 101 billion mark by the end of their festive mating season in the northern hemisphere.

So we’re looking at over 100 trillion Egyptian Geese by September 2011. How have they managed to fly in such large numbers unnoticed since unleaded petrol hit the market in 1996? Their secret lies in their stealthy flying methods. They fly at night except for the few who are used as decoys in the early morning.

A chemical reaction has been taking place over the past two decades since they began using petrol: Their feather coating now blends into the surrounding sky; they have developed a chameleon-like effect that camouflages them so they can discreetly take over the world one petrol station at a time.